Death, loss, illness, criticism, failure, inner turmoil, insecurity, you name it.

Those things will come for all of us at some point in our lives. It’s not a matter of if but when you deal with hard things.

So instead of trying to avoid the hardships of life, train yourself to deal with them better.

And how can you do that best? By becoming more mentally tough.

If you make mental toughness one of your primary aims in life, like eating food so you don’t starve and earning a living so you can survive, you’ll put yourself in a good position to live well.

In this article, I’ll share some of the key lessons I’ve learned about becoming more mentally tough.

1. Believe in the aphorism “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is the famous aphorism from 19th-century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, who wrote it in his 1888 book Twilight of the Idols as “Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker.”

To be honest, I find this phrase corny and overused. I’ve tried to look at it in different ways.

For example, you can say, what doesn’t kill you simply doesn’t kill you. In fact, that’s what happens to most people. The hard things they go through don’t change them. They just happen to them.

Or you can say, what doesn’t kill you today might kill you tomorrow. If you take a lot of risks and put yourself in dangerous situations, it’s only a matter of time before something bad happens.

But I always remember that I’m into practical philosophy, not the academic type. We shouldn’t overanalyze philosophical concepts.

The truth is that you’re still here. You went through the challenges that life threw at you.

The problem is that most people assume life should be easy.

“Oh, if I only had more money, better looks, was a little taller, or lived in that place, I’d have a GREAT life!”

Yeah, right.

Just get over that type of thinking. Prepare yourself for a life of hardship. If you face challenges, say to yourself, “This is normal.” And if everything in your life goes smoothly, say thank you 500 times a day.

The truth is that every challenge you face has the potential to make you stronger. So if you look at it that way, what doesn’t kill you in life is actually a gift, a gift to get stronger.

2. Mindset is everything

To become physically stronger, you have to put stress on your body. If you repeat that process, your body adapts by getting stronger.

Your mind doesn’t quite work the same way. If it did, the people who had tough childhoods would be the most mentally tough people in the world.

Mental toughness is purely mindset.

Yes, I know David Goggins and the legions of his imitators who claim that running marathons and doing Ironmans make you mentally tougher. That’s just not true.

Look at the Stoics and all the other philosophers who talked about mental toughness. None of them made those types of claims.

The fact is that the body follows the mind. If you have mental toughness, you’re better equipped to do hard physical things. But ultimately, physical challenges are also a matter of genetics.

When it comes to mindset, though, it’s a more equal playing field. Sure, there are inherited mental conditions. But as long as you’re mentally sound, which is something you should be grateful for, you’re in a position to become more mentally tough.

You just have to realize that it’s all in your mind.

3. A few ways to keep your mind sharp

Now, all of this doesn’t mean you can tell yourself, “Hey mind, just be tougher.”

Improving your mental toughness takes work. The best way to do that is to keep your mind sharp.

I believe that the natural state of mind is one of complacency. Most of our days are a repetition of the prior day. That’s why so many of us get bored and lazy. We stop doing the things that keep our minds sharp.

And that’s the biggest mistake you can make. Because if your mind is sharp and aware, it reminds you to stay strong during hard times and not to complain or feel sorry for yourself.

Here’s how you keep your mind sharp:

1. Read non-fiction books about topics you want to learn. I’m personally always interested in ways to become a better writer, thinker, and investor. So I’m always reading a book that helps me with that. The deeper the book, the longer it takes to finish it, which is actually a good sign.
2. Journal daily. Writing clears your mind. It helps you turn emotional reactions into clear thoughts. When you write about what bothers you, it loses power over you.
3. Work out. Staying healthy and active gives you the energy to handle stress. Physical training doesn’t automatically make you mentally tough, but it builds discipline, and discipline strengthens the mind.
4. Limit distractions. A distracted mind is a weak mind. Every time you check your phone or scroll aimlessly, you lose focus and attention span. Practice single-tasking. Train your mind to do one thing deeply.
5. Spend time alone. Solitude resets your brain. When you’re always surrounded by noise, opinions, and stimulation, you stop hearing your own thoughts. Spend time walking, thinking, or just sitting without input.
6. Reflect before reacting. Sharp thinkers don’t react fast. They pause, think, and then respond. Whether it’s an email, argument, or setback, slow down your reaction time. That’s real strength.
7. Keep your emotions in check. Your mind gets dull when emotions take over. Learn to notice anger, fear, or envy the moment they show up. Don’t suppress them, but don’t feed them either. Observe, breathe, move on.
8. Simplify your life. Complexity drains mental energy. Cut unnecessary commitments, gossip, and clutter. A sharp mind thrives in a simple environment.
9. Expose yourself to different ideas. Read philosophy, science, history, art. Talk to people you disagree with. Challenge your assumptions. Mental sharpness dies when you live in an echo chamber.

When your mind is consistently exposed to challenge, reflection, and learning, it becomes sharper, and a sharp mind is a strong mind.

Mental toughness is for everyone

Not just Navy SEALs or people with hard jobs.

Mental toughness is for the parent who gets up every day to take care of their kids while trying to improve their life. It’s for the person working through anxiety or grief and still showing up. It’s for anyone who refuses to quit, no matter what life throws their way.

You don’t need to run an ultramarathon or climb Everest to prove your strength. You just need to keep going when you don’t feel like it.

That’s what mental toughness really is. It’s not about pretending you’re invincible. It’s about getting hit, getting up, and saying, “That’s all you’ve got?”

Because what doesn’t kill you, if you let it, really does make you stronger.

The post Mental Toughness Part II: What doesn’t kill you appeared first on Darius Foroux.

You’re not alone. Several readers have recently told me they’re experiencing an underlying restlessness that drains their focus and energy, even when they’re not consciously stressed or anxious.

Can you relate to that feeling of being mentally tired? You just can’t pick yourself up to do something useful.

This isn’t a “you” problem; it’s a natural mental state that most of us experience at times. I’ve gone through periods where I also had that sense of restlessness.

But here’s the good news. You can do something about it. Here are seven practical strategies to quiet a restless mind.

1. Externalize Your Mind (Write It Down)

Your brain hates ambiguity. When your subconscious senses an unresolved issue, it keeps running in the background, stealing mental energy. According to research from the University of Rochester Medical Center, journaling your thoughts can significantly free up your cognitive resources.¹

Actionable tip: Write whatever pops into your head daily, even if it feels fragmented or meaningless.

Don’t edit. Just articulate your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Also avoid thinking about what it’s good for. It will make sense later.

2. Label Your Mental State (Name the Feeling)

Naming vague feelings reduces their psychological power. UCLA researchers, led by Matthew Lieberman, found that simply acknowledging your emotional state can reduce its intensity.²

Actionable tip: When restlessness arises, explicitly say to yourself, “I’m feeling mentally restless right now.” Don’t try to figure out why you’re restless or anxious or whatever. Just label it.

You will often find a sense of relief. It’s almost like giving yourself permission to take a step back. Because most of us just ignore our feelings. That’s how we end up burnt out or depressed. You have to nip the feelings that end up in disastrous mental states in the bud.

3. Schedule Regular Solitude (Quiet Your Mind)

Your brain requires downtime to sort out mental clutter. Neuroscientist Marcus Raichle points out that your brain’s Default Mode Network (the network activated during rest) naturally sorts and resolves issues running in the background.³

Actionable tip: Make sure you have “alone time” every single day. Lay on your bed, find an empty corner in the office, or ideally, go somewhere with a view.

This might seem a bit weird, but it’s really a good habit. I regularly go to my balcony and just look around. I look at the people, buildings, clouds, birds, whatever.

I honestly think this is why a lot of people smoke. It gives them a reason to go out and stare into the blue. But you don’t have to smoke to look into the horizon and contemplate a bit. Just don’t get lost in your thoughts.

4. Structured Reflection (Clarify Your Thoughts)

Aimless mind wandering keeps you stuck. Deliberate reflection, however, brings clarity. Research on intentional reflection shows it can reduce excessive activity in the Default Mode Network.⁴

Actionable tip: Spend 5-10 minutes daily reflecting deliberately. Look for patterns or repeated feelings, even if they’re unclear initially.

This is where your journal comes into play again. You can just look at your recent notes and rethink them, especially when it comes to your plans and goals. Just reflect and think whether it’s the right thing. Look at things from different angles.

5. Move Your Body (Exercise Regularly)

Exercise is your best reset button. Harvard Medical School emphasizes that regular physical activity boosts serotonin and dopamine, chemicals that reduce anxiety and calm your restless mind.⁵

Actionable tip: Commit to at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise daily. Walk, jog, cycle, or do yoga—just move.

When you sit around an office or in your house all day, you often feel useless. Like you didn’t use your day. That’s because sitting doesn’t release those happy chemicals.

No matter what you do, make sure to move every day. Get out the house and get moving.

6. Practice Mindfulness (Anchor Your Attention)

Mindfulness allows you to observe your mental state without getting caught up in it. A Johns Hopkins–led systematic review confirms that regular mindfulness meditation significantly reduces anxiety and enhances clarity.⁶

Actionable tip: Practice simple mindfulness meditation for 5-10 minutes daily. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing.

If you like guided meditation, try using an app. I like Waking Up by Sam Harris. Although I don’t meditate every day, I often return to it during challenging times.

7. Prioritize Mental Simplicity (Reduce Inputs)

Simplify everything in your life. This is a strategy that you can apply in every single area. Whether it’s your work, exercise, habits, desk, home, or closet, keep it simple.

Actionable tip:  Clean out your closet and donate the stuff you haven’t worn in months.

In my experience, simplicity is a mindset that you need to practice constantly. I’ve travelled quite a bit over the last three years. And every time, I took a big suitcase or I would fill up my car with everything I thought I needed.

As I’m writing this, I’ve been in Spain for nearly a month with my wife and all I brought with me was a small carry-on trolley. Granted, it’s summer so my clothes don’t take much space. But I just have a few t-shirts, shorts, one pair of shoes, sandals, underwear, and my hair clipper to do my beard and hair.

I like the simplicity. I do my work on a laptop and I realized I don’t need much on a daily basis. That’s also true for many other things in life.

Conclusion: Keep Taming The Mind

Mental restlessness is common, but it’s something you can manage with deliberate practice.

You don’t have to live with constant background noise draining your focus. But you have to make an effort to calm down your mind.

It’s something we need to do every day. We can’t expect to meditate for a few months and then keep the benefits forever. The mind is wild and prefers to get out of control.

Your job is to keep it in check.

The post Do You Have a Restless Mind? Try These 7 Things appeared first on Darius Foroux.

So by the end of last year, I said to myself, let me try out the whole Financial Independence, Retire Early thing.

That has been one of my main goals since 2015 when I quit my corporate job. At that time, I was trading about 12 hours of my day for a paycheck and felt like my life wasn’t really going anywhere.

I didn’t get any satisfaction out of my job, and I started reading books like The 4-Hour Work Week. I also learned about Mr. Money Mustache, who retired in his 30s and was living a frugal life.

Those ideas of having the freedom to do anything you want with your time appealed to me as a corporate warrior who felt boxed in. So I went for it.

Fast forward to 2025, and I’ve accomplished pretty much all the goals I set out for myself at that time. Granted, I thought I would hit those targets about 5 years earlier, but hey, we’re here.

What is financially comfortable

I don’t feel comfortable sharing exact numbers about my income and net worth because of a few reasons. Mainly because it’s not relevant. Money is situational.

What I mean is that the amount of money depends on where you live and how you live.

I live in a town called Leeuwarden in The Netherlands, where the cost of living is much lower than a place like Amsterdam. I own the apartment I live in with my wife, and I have a mortgage with 1.7% interest. I bought the condo for about the equivalent of $150K. It’s now worth at least 100K more.

And I’ve been paying off the mortgage since 2017. I don’t know exactly how much debt I have outstanding, but at 1.7%, I don’t care.

My passive income from my books, courses, and a rental property that I own is about $15K to $20K.

And I have seven figures in liquid assets (stocks and cash). I use about 30% of my assets to trade stocks. I’ve averaged about 30% annual returns since 2020, so that’s a decent amount of profit that I view as income, not as money for retirement. I haven’t spent that yet, and I’ve been using it to grow my net worth through investing in stocks.

All in all, I’m financially comfortable based on my lifestyle and where I live. My wife and I are planning to buy a large home this year. But even if that home will be a million bucks, I can sell some of my stocks and use it as a down payment and get a mortgage for 600K to 700K. At current interest rates, that’s about 3,500 bucks a month.

What about kids? We’re lucky we live in The Netherlands, where there’s pretty good government support when you get kids, nearly free education, and health insurance that’s not super expensive. So I’m not worried about that. And I have no issue with downgrading my own lifestyle in case we’re lucky enough to get kids.

I’m not going to stop working

Now, here’s my main takeaway about this early retirement thing.

I don’t like to have too much free time. I simply end up spending more money compared to when I’m working.

Over the past six months, I’ve traveled a lot, which obviously comes with costs. Plus, after a while of doing nothing, I get restless.

I don’t have that many hobbies. I’m also not a DIY guy or someone who likes to do chores around the house. I also can’t see myself surfing or golfing all day. I’m just not that type of guy.

My hobby is my work. Just saying that makes me realize how lucky I am.

For my entire adult life, I wanted to be free of “the shackles of society.” I wanted to break free from the 9 to 5. I wanted to “opt out” or “unsubscribe” from the whole rat race.

But here’s the thing: What are you going to do next when you opt out?

What comes after financial independence?

This is the point where it turns into a philosophical discussion. What are you going to do with your life once you’ve met your basic needs? The reality is that most people never really get to that point.

But we have to be honest. Whether you actually become financially free or not, you’re always in motion… figuring things out, doing new things, enjoying life, getting stronger, better, you name it.

In a way, not much changes when you have some money. Warren Buffett has this phrase that he often repeats, which goes something like this: You and me are the same. I just get to travel faster than you do. But that’s about it.

He’s referring to his private jet, which is pretty much the only true luxury that Buffett possesses. Other than that, he goes through the same motions every day.

You wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, do your work, eat lunch, etcetera, etcetera. Most of our lives are all the same.

The funny thing is that everyone wants to find out on their own. Just look at the number of people who are yearning to quit their job and travel the world.

The older I get, the more I believe that the purpose of life is to be useful. I’ve been looking at life that way for many years, but I also wanted to be financially comfortable. But having a bunch of money doesn’t really give any meaning.

When you spend the money, you might have nice things and experiences, but you get used to them. And the rush you get when you buy something new or do something new is never lasting. So you end up chasing the next hit.

But when you dedicate your life to making yourself useful to your community or society in general, you always have something to do. You will never be bored or restless.

What is balance?

What’s the right amount of work versus rest? I wish I had a straightforward answer, but the truth is that balancing is a continuous act.

This is why your career and money do matter. If you have a job that you hate and isn’t very accommodating when it comes to free time, you feel caged.

So it helps to work with people who understand that life isn’t only about work. Some careers, like investment banking, don’t allow for flexibility. But if that’s what you signed up for, you should pay the price.

Most of us want to have a level of freedom. You can also have that when you’re employed. The idea that you can only be free if you work for yourself or if you’re financially independent is not true.

Now, here’s the thing. Most people who want to have freedom and flexibility at work don’t take that freedom seriously. If you’re employed, you have to do your best at all times. I’ve met plenty of people who didn’t respect their jobs and bosses. That’s not a good attitude.

The right attitude is to always make yourself useful and try to do your job the best you can. Whether you’re employed or work for yourself doesn’t really matter as long as you’re properly compensated.

Never retiring

I’ve also played around with the idea of never stopping with work. To be honest, I think that’s what I want more than retiring, period. I can’t see myself just going through life doing a bunch of fun stuff. I love doing fun stuff after a period of work.

But rest without work isn’t satisfying.

And over the last few months, I took a lot of rest. Granted, I got married and traveled a bunch. But there were a lot of periods where I was just knocking about.

But I also did some work because I just couldn’t stop completely. I love my work too much, plus I have this drive to make myself useful.

I don’t want to stop working and writing. Since the past week, I’ve committed to a handful of new projects, and I’m planning to relaunch my weekly newsletter again.

So expect new content from me every Monday.

The post What No One Tells You About Early Retirement appeared first on Darius Foroux.

Hitting 50,000 points is almost impossible. To put that in context, Michael Jordan—widely considered the greatest by many—finished his career with 32,292 points.

In the post-game interview, Lebron was asked, “How are you doing this at such a high level, at this stage of your career?”

Lebron is 40. And he still plays the game with the enthusiasm of an 18-year-old.

LeBron’s answer made me realize something very important. He said:

“I just take care of my body, put the work in, and stay true to the game. I’ve had the opportunity to play the game I love, and I’ve always been true to it. So I want to always give back.”

Stay true to the game

That made me stop and think about it. LeBron understands that he was given a unique opportunity to play the game at his level. 

Now, does he love the game because he’s good at it or did his love for the game make him good?

I think it’s the latter.

It made me think about my own life. 

I’m so grateful for the fact that I have the opportunity to write. And I’m not even talking about making a living as a writer.

Just this opportunity to share my thoughts with you. And that you’re reading it.

That’s my game. My opportunity. My calling.

I get to write for a living. That’s a privilege. 

Hearing LeBron talk about staying true to the game made me realize that’s my job too. Stay true to writing.

What’s your game?

But this isn’t just about me. This is about you too.

What’s your game? What’s the thing you’d do for free, just because you love it?

That’s your purpose.

It doesn’t have to be flashy. It doesn’t have to impress anyone. It just has to matter to you.

Maybe it’s teaching. Maybe it’s building a business. Maybe it’s painting, investing, coaching, creating, learning, or raising your kids.

The problem? Most of us don’t stay true to our game.

We get distracted. We compare ourselves to others. We chase opportunities that look good on the outside but feel empty inside.

We forget what really matters.

There is no “something better”

Here’s the truth: there’s no magical “better thing” waiting for you. The grass isn’t greener somewhere else.

There’s only your game; the thing that lights you up, even when it’s hard.

LeBron found his game. And after 22 seasons, 50,000 points, and 41 Player of the Month awards, he’s still true to it.

That’s the real secret to his success. Talent matters. Work ethic matters. But purpose? That’s what keeps you going.

Don’t know your purpose? Try this.

For most of my life, I also didn’t know what my purpose was. I think I started realizing it after 5 or 6 years of writing. I’ve been doing this a decade now.

It takes time. No matter how smart you are, there are often things about your life that are hiding in plain sight. 

Try the following to help figure things out for yourself.

• Identify your game. Write it down. Get clear. What’s the thing you can’t stop thinking about?
• Make a commitment. Decide right now to stay true to it — even when it’s boring, hard, or inconvenient.
• Act today. Spend at least 30 minutes today moving your game forward.

Don’t make it complicated. What’s the first thing that came up? Maybe something you’re afraid to admit because it might seem impossible. Just say it!

That’s how you build a life that actually means something.

LeBron’s legacy isn’t just stats. It’s his commitment to the game.

Do the same with your life.

Stay true to your game. And you’ll stay true to yourself.

The post A Lesson on Purpose from LeBron James appeared first on Darius Foroux.

In 2011, I finished grad school. The economy was still recovering from the 2008 crash. I wanted to work in finance. But no one wanted to hire me. Not a single company gave me a shot.

So I did what a lot of people do when they’re out of options. I started a business with my dad.

By 2013, I’d been working with him for two years. And I hated it. I didn’t like the industry, felt no passion for the work, and couldn’t see a future in it. 

That’s when I thought, “Maybe I just need to do my own thing.” So I started a marketing agency. But I couldn’t even get a single client.

In 2014, I took a corporate job. To be honest, it felt good at the beginning. After all, that’s what I wanted when I was in university. 

But within a year, I felt completely empty. The dream I had of climbing the corporate ladder and becoming a CEO? Gone. I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t even want to get out of bed. I was depressed, uninspired, and completely lost.

Then I started writing.

And you’d think that once I found something I actually enjoyed, everything would click into place. It didn’t. I’ve felt stuck every single year since. Sometimes in my work. Sometimes in my personal life. Sometimes just in my own head.

But here’s the thing. Every time I felt stuck, something good happened afterwards. So all hope is not lost.

If you’re currently stuck, here’s what I want to share with you.

First, change your perspective: Feeling lost is GOOD

If you’re stuck in a gloomy mindset, I know this is not what you want to hear. Because right now you’re probably thinking:

• Everything sucks
• Nothing will be fine
• The world is a bad place
• It’s hopeless, so why even try?

Wrong.

Let’s cut the crap. Enough feeling sorry for yourself. It’s time to snap out of your negativity.

First, understand that you’re feeling lost for a reason.

There’s something you need to change. When you feel bad, it’s your body and mind’s way of telling you that you can’t keep doing what you’re doing. It’s just not working.

Every time I was stuck, I made a change.

What’s something you’re going to change?

Second, you have enough time

Let me guess why you’re feeling bad right now.

You didn’t get what you wanted in the timeframe that YOU expected.

Am I right?

• I have to make 200K a year by the time I’m 35
• I should’ve been married by now
• I need to have my life together by the end of this year

Who told you that? Who made those rules?

You have time.

Most people only figure things out after years of trial and error. The people who act like they knew exactly what they wanted at 22? They’re lying to you and themselves.

The real game is about learning, adjusting, and staying in motion. You don’t need to be perfect today. You just need to keep moving.

Third, don’t be a sour companion for the people in your life

Feeling sorry for yourself is selfish and it drags down the people around you too.

No one wants to hang out with someone who constantly complains, blames others, or acts like life is out to get them.

If you want better relationships, stop making everything about you.

Change your focus to OTHER people. Stop thinking about yourself for a second. You can always come back to that!

Ask how your friends are doing. Check in with family.

Offer help, even if you feel like you need it more. Being useful to others is one of the fastest ways to stop feeling useless yourself.

Show up as someone worth supporting; someone who’s trying, someone who’s honest about their struggles but also willing to do the work.

Fourth, focus on the basics: Exercise, sleep, journaling, learning, and progress

When you’re stuck, your mind tricks you into believing you need some grand solution. But most of the time, it’s the simple things that get you moving again.

Move your body every day, even if it’s just a short walk.

Get serious about your sleep. Bad sleep ruins everything else.

Start writing down your thoughts. Journaling helps you process your emotions and spot patterns.

Learn something new. Read books. Watch useful videos. Feed your brain with ideas that make you think.

That’s EASY today. Don’t know what to learn? AI. AI. AI all day! This is the most exciting time in technology ever. 

Just focus on the basics and the rest will follow.

Time to move

Start by dropping the self-pity and taking ownership of your life.

You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re just stuck.

That’s temporary….as long as you don’t give up. 

Do one thing today to create momentum, even if it’s small. That’s how you start over. That’s how you find your way out.

Time to go!

The post Feeling Lost and Unmotivated? Read This. appeared first on Darius Foroux.