Death, loss, illness, criticism, failure, inner turmoil, insecurity, you name it.

Those things will come for all of us at some point in our lives. It’s not a matter of if but when you deal with hard things.

So instead of trying to avoid the hardships of life, train yourself to deal with them better.

And how can you do that best? By becoming more mentally tough.

If you make mental toughness one of your primary aims in life, like eating food so you don’t starve and earning a living so you can survive, you’ll put yourself in a good position to live well.

In this article, I’ll share some of the key lessons I’ve learned about becoming more mentally tough.

1. Believe in the aphorism “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is the famous aphorism from 19th-century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, who wrote it in his 1888 book Twilight of the Idols as “Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker.”

To be honest, I find this phrase corny and overused. I’ve tried to look at it in different ways.

For example, you can say, what doesn’t kill you simply doesn’t kill you. In fact, that’s what happens to most people. The hard things they go through don’t change them. They just happen to them.

Or you can say, what doesn’t kill you today might kill you tomorrow. If you take a lot of risks and put yourself in dangerous situations, it’s only a matter of time before something bad happens.

But I always remember that I’m into practical philosophy, not the academic type. We shouldn’t overanalyze philosophical concepts.

The truth is that you’re still here. You went through the challenges that life threw at you.

The problem is that most people assume life should be easy.

“Oh, if I only had more money, better looks, was a little taller, or lived in that place, I’d have a GREAT life!”

Yeah, right.

Just get over that type of thinking. Prepare yourself for a life of hardship. If you face challenges, say to yourself, “This is normal.” And if everything in your life goes smoothly, say thank you 500 times a day.

The truth is that every challenge you face has the potential to make you stronger. So if you look at it that way, what doesn’t kill you in life is actually a gift, a gift to get stronger.

2. Mindset is everything

To become physically stronger, you have to put stress on your body. If you repeat that process, your body adapts by getting stronger.

Your mind doesn’t quite work the same way. If it did, the people who had tough childhoods would be the most mentally tough people in the world.

Mental toughness is purely mindset.

Yes, I know David Goggins and the legions of his imitators who claim that running marathons and doing Ironmans make you mentally tougher. That’s just not true.

Look at the Stoics and all the other philosophers who talked about mental toughness. None of them made those types of claims.

The fact is that the body follows the mind. If you have mental toughness, you’re better equipped to do hard physical things. But ultimately, physical challenges are also a matter of genetics.

When it comes to mindset, though, it’s a more equal playing field. Sure, there are inherited mental conditions. But as long as you’re mentally sound, which is something you should be grateful for, you’re in a position to become more mentally tough.

You just have to realize that it’s all in your mind.

3. A few ways to keep your mind sharp

Now, all of this doesn’t mean you can tell yourself, “Hey mind, just be tougher.”

Improving your mental toughness takes work. The best way to do that is to keep your mind sharp.

I believe that the natural state of mind is one of complacency. Most of our days are a repetition of the prior day. That’s why so many of us get bored and lazy. We stop doing the things that keep our minds sharp.

And that’s the biggest mistake you can make. Because if your mind is sharp and aware, it reminds you to stay strong during hard times and not to complain or feel sorry for yourself.

Here’s how you keep your mind sharp:

1. Read non-fiction books about topics you want to learn. I’m personally always interested in ways to become a better writer, thinker, and investor. So I’m always reading a book that helps me with that. The deeper the book, the longer it takes to finish it, which is actually a good sign.
2. Journal daily. Writing clears your mind. It helps you turn emotional reactions into clear thoughts. When you write about what bothers you, it loses power over you.
3. Work out. Staying healthy and active gives you the energy to handle stress. Physical training doesn’t automatically make you mentally tough, but it builds discipline, and discipline strengthens the mind.
4. Limit distractions. A distracted mind is a weak mind. Every time you check your phone or scroll aimlessly, you lose focus and attention span. Practice single-tasking. Train your mind to do one thing deeply.
5. Spend time alone. Solitude resets your brain. When you’re always surrounded by noise, opinions, and stimulation, you stop hearing your own thoughts. Spend time walking, thinking, or just sitting without input.
6. Reflect before reacting. Sharp thinkers don’t react fast. They pause, think, and then respond. Whether it’s an email, argument, or setback, slow down your reaction time. That’s real strength.
7. Keep your emotions in check. Your mind gets dull when emotions take over. Learn to notice anger, fear, or envy the moment they show up. Don’t suppress them, but don’t feed them either. Observe, breathe, move on.
8. Simplify your life. Complexity drains mental energy. Cut unnecessary commitments, gossip, and clutter. A sharp mind thrives in a simple environment.
9. Expose yourself to different ideas. Read philosophy, science, history, art. Talk to people you disagree with. Challenge your assumptions. Mental sharpness dies when you live in an echo chamber.

When your mind is consistently exposed to challenge, reflection, and learning, it becomes sharper, and a sharp mind is a strong mind.

Mental toughness is for everyone

Not just Navy SEALs or people with hard jobs.

Mental toughness is for the parent who gets up every day to take care of their kids while trying to improve their life. It’s for the person working through anxiety or grief and still showing up. It’s for anyone who refuses to quit, no matter what life throws their way.

You don’t need to run an ultramarathon or climb Everest to prove your strength. You just need to keep going when you don’t feel like it.

That’s what mental toughness really is. It’s not about pretending you’re invincible. It’s about getting hit, getting up, and saying, “That’s all you’ve got?”

Because what doesn’t kill you, if you let it, really does make you stronger.

The post Mental Toughness Part II: What doesn’t kill you appeared first on Darius Foroux.

Most of life is a trade. Time for money. Skill for opportunity. Trust for results. 

Many things in life are not like that because people are evil, but because incentives drive us as human beings. 

And when people don’t get what they want, they often get nasty. The Stoic philosopher Epictetus explained why that is:

“When any person harms you or speaks badly of you, remember that he acts from a supposition of its being his duty.”

People always think they are doing the right thing… in their perspective of course. If someone feels like you wronged them, it’s because they really believe that.

Work conflicts that turn personal

I’ve heard a version of the following many times. Someone recommends a friend for a job. The friend gets hired. Then they don’t perform. Now the company questions the person who vouched for them. It’s awkward. It hurts. 

And it often ends the friendship. I’ve lived a version of that myself. Years ago I recommended a friend at our family company. It didn’t work out and our friendship basically ended. 

It’s really unfortunate when these things happen because it’s not necessary. When money, careers, and status enter the room, friendship is often secondary.

Indifference is the default, not the exception

My mom recently got veneers at a well-known clinic in Bocholt, Germany. It all started with great promises. But as the process went on, there were complications. 

My mom has pain with no clear cause. Suddenly the warmth from the dentist and their team evaporated. Busy calendars. Slow replies. A maze of “let’s wait and see.” 

This is sadly a common issue. When the sale is done, the incentive shifts. Fixing messy problems is expensive and take time. No one is waiting for that. 

There is no reward in actually helping people for them. But here’s the ting: You are not crazy for expecting care and support from service providers. You are just expecting something the system is not designed to deliver.

Epictetus gives you the clean way to think about this. People act from their own judgments and incentives. 

It only feels personal when you forget how the game is set up.

The best revenge is to not be like them

In 2018 I bought my first expensive watch at Schaap & Citroen in Groningen. The date function of the watch was broken from the start, and years later the shop refused to help because the warranty had expired. 

I went back last weekend and the clerk got aggressive. So I matched it, we argued, and I left a one-star review. Could they have tried to fix the problem? Yes. Would that have been right? Of course. 

But here is the trap: Expecting strangers to live by your standards guarantees frustration. 

The better move is to keep your standards even when others drop theirs. Speak clearly, stay calm, give a fair chance, then take your business elsewhere without turning it into a personal war.

Marcus Aurelius said, “The best revenge is to not be like your enemy.” It is easy to post that line and hard to practice it in a tense moment. I failed it that day. Next time, I choose my behavior, not theirs.

This mindset means that you stop confusing care with service. A business can serve you well without caring about you as a person. 

Take the win when it happens, and build your plans on contracts, documentation, and alternatives, not on the hope of extra compassion.

Or if you choose to recommend someone at your company, accept the downside upfront. If it goes wrong, do not moralize it. Solve the problem, learn the lesson, and avoid mixing roles in the future.

Just stop turning every disappointment into a story about good and evil. Most of the time it is incentives doing their work. 

This is the world we live in. It’s not good or bad. It’s just the way it is.

Values are promises you keep

“Focus on your values” only matters if you define them in behavior. Tell the truth when it costs you. Do competent work when no one is watching. 

Treat people with respect when they do not deserve it. Keep your cool when you are provoked. None of this depends on how others act. Your standards are yours.

A few people will care. Family, a couple of real friends, maybe a mentor. 

Let the rest be. Try to be the exception yourself and do the boring right thing quietly.

Epictetus explained why people act as they do. Marcus told us how to respond. 

Put those two together, and you get a simple way to live: 

Push when it matters, let go when it does not, and keep your own hands clean.

The post No One Cares About Your Feelings appeared first on Darius Foroux.

He was seriously angry. “What the hell man?” He wrote. And then he went on talking about how I should read my own books and that I’m a bad writer.

I told him to screw himself and get away from his bedroom, hating on people through his keyboard.

You know, it’s just like dealing with an impolite or aggressive person at work or in daily life. There are A LOT of mean people in the world. Since I often get questions from friends and readers about how I deal with them, let me share that here.

First, I want to share this quote with you from Marcus Aurelius from 2000 years ago:

“When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.”

Nothing has changed. People are still like that. And even the toughest and most skillful people on the planet can get self-conscious about dealing with bad people.

One of my readers recently told me that he spent 10+ years in the Army facing people who tried hard to kill him, which was no problem. But he had a hard time sharing his writing online. I completely get that. 

Dealing with the criticism and hate of others can be paralyzing. And we must address that.

First: Let’s accept that manners are no longer the default

Look, I’m not that old (38), but I still grew up in a time where my entire environment emphasized the value of having manners and just be a civilized human being.

At home, school, sports, friends, family, you name it. People never hesitated to point out that something is impolite. Here’s just some stuff that I was taught early on:

• Speak softly in public
• Always say thank you
• Smile politely to folks
• Greet your neighbors and strangers on the street
• Don’t block aisles or sidewalks and always let people pass
• Keep clean (use deodorant at minimum)
• Be aware of your surroundings, respect personal space

My default setting is always to be polite. Still. But here’s where I differ when it comes to most polite people.

When I sniff that someone is not polite or behaving like an uncivilized human being, I respond with the same energy. Yes, I get it, always carry yourself well, but here’s what I think: Don’t let people walk over you. 

Politeness doesn’t mean weakness. Being courteous doesn’t mean you’re anyone’s doormat.

And I surely don’t let an ungrateful person talk to me in a bad manner.

Some tips to develop a thicker skin

I think it’s beneficial to develop a thick skin. Especially if you’re that super polite person who is always very considerate. You’re always thinking of other people but you find that other people don’t care about you!

That’s a very bad feeling. And I think rude people don’t deserve your polite energy. Instead, we need to treat those annoying people like someone with thick skin.

Here are practical tactics to stop caring so much about rude people:

1. Don’t Shy Away From Confrontation

Confrontation isn’t bad. If someone gets rude, it’s okay to meet their energy. Stand your ground without spiraling into an argument. Confidence grows from standing firm. Often, rude people back down when met with calm, direct assertiveness.

2. Remember: It’s Never Personal

Trolls and critics rarely know you. They’re venting their own issues. When someone flips out over trivial mistakes, it says more about their life than yours. Maybe their job sucks, their relationships are failing, or they’re simply bored. It’s their problem, not yours.

3. Publish Something Online

Post your thoughts openly, even if anonymously at first. Invite feedback, both good and bad. Exposure is therapy. You learn to detach yourself from judgment. Each publication makes you stronger, more resilient, and less affected by negativity.

4. Keep Perspective

Think big picture. We’re stressing about a tweet or typo while millions of people face real issues like poverty, hunger, war. It shrinks your worries fast. Remind yourself regularly that these minor annoyances of life don’t matter in the grand scheme.

5. Accept Not Everyone Will Like You

Who cares? You can’t please everyone. Some won’t like your style, opinions, or even face. Good. Life gets better once you accept this. Focus your energy on people who genuinely appreciate you and your work.

6. Vent Then Delete

Create a private “trash-talk file”—vent aggressively about critics. Then delete it. This lets off steam without public drama. Rinse, repeat. This tactic helps keep your emotions stable, allowing you to respond professionally instead of emotionally.

7. Build Your Inner Circle

Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. A strong network of friends and peers can reinforce your self-confidence. When negativity strikes, lean on your inner circle to restore your perspective.

8. Laugh It Off

Humor disarms negativity. Find amusement in rude remarks or absurd criticism. Turn insults into anecdotes or jokes. When you laugh, the insult loses power.

Here’s how you can apply all the above in daily life (online and offline):

• Mute or block instantly: Don’t hesitate. Remove negativity quickly.
• Respond or walk away: It’s okay to bite back. But just make sure to walk away just as fast. If you’re someone who frets about what you said, just walk away.
• Use humor: Sarcasm can deflate tension instantly.
• Stay busy: Focus on your goals, not distractions.

We need to push back

We, as polite people, need to push back against the annoying people of the world. I genuinely believe that. We can’t accept the uncivilized behavior of others.

The other day I was standing in line at a beach bar in southern Spain when a lady jumped in front of me and ordered a bag of potato chips.

I immediately said, “What’s this type of animalistic behavior?” I was a bit too angry. I could’ve said impolite instead of animalistic, but let me give you the context.

My pregnant wife was throwing up on the beach a few moments before I was standing in line. I was trying to quickly get a bottle of water for her when that situation happened. 

The lady immediately looked down and started apologizing. But get this. The person who worked there just proceeded to help the woman. And even the lady just proceeded with her order of a bag of potato chips. 

Anyway, did the woman learn a lesson? I don’t think so. But at least I got it off my chest in the moment. That’s what counts the most. After I got my water and my wife was ok, I forgot about the situation.

As Marcus Aurelius said, we need to deal with annoying people because that’s life.

There’s only one thing that matters. You want to look at yourself in the mirror every day and think, “I’m doing the right thing.”

And as long as you’re happy and content with what you’re seeing, you don’t have to worry about what others say or do.

The post Dealing With Annoying, Mean, and Impolite People appeared first on Darius Foroux.

I woke up every day with a fresh start. At that time I also had student debt so I had a long way to go.

My goal was always to become a millionaire. It’s something our society has always considered a marker of financial success. If you have a million bucks, you’ve made it.

We all know that’s no longer true because society has changed a lot over the past decade. We’re living in the age of decadence. People just want to live luxurious lives, which requires a lot of money. But that’s the topic for another essay. 

What I’ve realized recently is that my pursuit of financial success was more fulfilling than simply acquiring money.

As I’m typing this, I feel it’s not a deep realization at all. Because if you look around you, the platitudes about this concept are everywhere.

“It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.”

As a skeptical (and sometimes cynical) person, I have an allergy to motivational quotes and sayings.

Saying that life is about the journey just doesn’t mean anything when you’re stuck in the day-to-day grind of life.

You’re too focused on either surviving, providing, or improving your situation. First, you want to earn some money, get yourself a house, buy a car, and make sure you don’t have to worry about putting food on the table.

You want to be independent. And to be independent, you need income.

When life forces you to focus on certain things, you don’t appreciate it

In a way, life forces us to focus on becoming independent human beings.

That’s what we spend most of our time trying to accomplish. Most of us dedicate our entire lives to getting there.

But here’s the ironic part: When life pushes you into focusing on something specific, you rarely appreciate it at the moment. You think, “I can’t wait until I have enough money. I can’t wait until I have more freedom. I can’t wait until I don’t have to worry about bills anymore.”

Yet, when you finally reach that point, something strange happens. You lose a clear goal to strive toward.

Without that forced focus, life gets boring pretty fast. And boredom isn’t just annoying—it can lead to deeper problems. When you have nothing meaningful to pursue, you start asking yourself existential questions.

“What’s the point of all this? Why am I even here?”

Friedrich Nietzsche captured this perfectly when he said:

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”

Similarly, Viktor Frankl wrote in his famous book on purpose, Man’s Search for Meaning:

“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.”

Without friction, without some form of struggle, we fall into existential boredom or even depression.

We often complain about the constant demands that life puts on us without realizing that these very things keep us alive.

It’s the friction that sharpens our minds, teaches us resilience, and prepares us for greater and more significant challenges. Without it, we drift into complacency. 

Complacency might feel comforting temporarily, but it quickly shows its emptiness.

Life, I learned, is about continuously setting meaningful challenges that pull you forward.

You need to constantly renew your purpose, find new puzzles to solve, and new mountains to climb. It’s this ongoing pursuit that fills life with genuine joy and excitement.

What I love doing

I love the challenge of creating products, positioning them, and seeing whether people respond to them. It’s no longer about the money. I just love the process. I love it so much that I want to keep doing this indefinitely.

Because I don’t function well without a clear purpose, especially in terms of my career.

Sure, my personal life gives me a great deal of satisfaction and meaning. I’m very close to my family. I have a few good friends. My wife is pregnant, and that’s something I’m incredibly happy about. It gives my life depth and emotional fulfillment.

But I also need intellectual stimulation. I need a meaningful challenge, problems to solve, and some friction. It’s crucial for me to wake up each morning knowing I need to solve a challenge.

Whether it’s launching a new course, fine-tuning a book, or exploring innovative business strategies, the anticipation of the unknown and the potential to fail or succeed energizes me.

That’s what keeps me energized on all fronts. The act of constantly creating something new, pushing myself intellectually, and facing challenges—that’s my personal formula for a fulfilling life.

The post This Took Me 14 Years to Understand appeared first on Darius Foroux.

So by the end of last year, I said to myself, let me try out the whole Financial Independence, Retire Early thing.

That has been one of my main goals since 2015 when I quit my corporate job. At that time, I was trading about 12 hours of my day for a paycheck and felt like my life wasn’t really going anywhere.

I didn’t get any satisfaction out of my job, and I started reading books like The 4-Hour Work Week. I also learned about Mr. Money Mustache, who retired in his 30s and was living a frugal life.

Those ideas of having the freedom to do anything you want with your time appealed to me as a corporate warrior who felt boxed in. So I went for it.

Fast forward to 2025, and I’ve accomplished pretty much all the goals I set out for myself at that time. Granted, I thought I would hit those targets about 5 years earlier, but hey, we’re here.

What is financially comfortable

I don’t feel comfortable sharing exact numbers about my income and net worth because of a few reasons. Mainly because it’s not relevant. Money is situational.

What I mean is that the amount of money depends on where you live and how you live.

I live in a town called Leeuwarden in The Netherlands, where the cost of living is much lower than a place like Amsterdam. I own the apartment I live in with my wife, and I have a mortgage with 1.7% interest. I bought the condo for about the equivalent of $150K. It’s now worth at least 100K more.

And I’ve been paying off the mortgage since 2017. I don’t know exactly how much debt I have outstanding, but at 1.7%, I don’t care.

My passive income from my books, courses, and a rental property that I own is about $15K to $20K.

And I have seven figures in liquid assets (stocks and cash). I use about 30% of my assets to trade stocks. I’ve averaged about 30% annual returns since 2020, so that’s a decent amount of profit that I view as income, not as money for retirement. I haven’t spent that yet, and I’ve been using it to grow my net worth through investing in stocks.

All in all, I’m financially comfortable based on my lifestyle and where I live. My wife and I are planning to buy a large home this year. But even if that home will be a million bucks, I can sell some of my stocks and use it as a down payment and get a mortgage for 600K to 700K. At current interest rates, that’s about 3,500 bucks a month.

What about kids? We’re lucky we live in The Netherlands, where there’s pretty good government support when you get kids, nearly free education, and health insurance that’s not super expensive. So I’m not worried about that. And I have no issue with downgrading my own lifestyle in case we’re lucky enough to get kids.

I’m not going to stop working

Now, here’s my main takeaway about this early retirement thing.

I don’t like to have too much free time. I simply end up spending more money compared to when I’m working.

Over the past six months, I’ve traveled a lot, which obviously comes with costs. Plus, after a while of doing nothing, I get restless.

I don’t have that many hobbies. I’m also not a DIY guy or someone who likes to do chores around the house. I also can’t see myself surfing or golfing all day. I’m just not that type of guy.

My hobby is my work. Just saying that makes me realize how lucky I am.

For my entire adult life, I wanted to be free of “the shackles of society.” I wanted to break free from the 9 to 5. I wanted to “opt out” or “unsubscribe” from the whole rat race.

But here’s the thing: What are you going to do next when you opt out?

What comes after financial independence?

This is the point where it turns into a philosophical discussion. What are you going to do with your life once you’ve met your basic needs? The reality is that most people never really get to that point.

But we have to be honest. Whether you actually become financially free or not, you’re always in motion… figuring things out, doing new things, enjoying life, getting stronger, better, you name it.

In a way, not much changes when you have some money. Warren Buffett has this phrase that he often repeats, which goes something like this: You and me are the same. I just get to travel faster than you do. But that’s about it.

He’s referring to his private jet, which is pretty much the only true luxury that Buffett possesses. Other than that, he goes through the same motions every day.

You wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, do your work, eat lunch, etcetera, etcetera. Most of our lives are all the same.

The funny thing is that everyone wants to find out on their own. Just look at the number of people who are yearning to quit their job and travel the world.

The older I get, the more I believe that the purpose of life is to be useful. I’ve been looking at life that way for many years, but I also wanted to be financially comfortable. But having a bunch of money doesn’t really give any meaning.

When you spend the money, you might have nice things and experiences, but you get used to them. And the rush you get when you buy something new or do something new is never lasting. So you end up chasing the next hit.

But when you dedicate your life to making yourself useful to your community or society in general, you always have something to do. You will never be bored or restless.

What is balance?

What’s the right amount of work versus rest? I wish I had a straightforward answer, but the truth is that balancing is a continuous act.

This is why your career and money do matter. If you have a job that you hate and isn’t very accommodating when it comes to free time, you feel caged.

So it helps to work with people who understand that life isn’t only about work. Some careers, like investment banking, don’t allow for flexibility. But if that’s what you signed up for, you should pay the price.

Most of us want to have a level of freedom. You can also have that when you’re employed. The idea that you can only be free if you work for yourself or if you’re financially independent is not true.

Now, here’s the thing. Most people who want to have freedom and flexibility at work don’t take that freedom seriously. If you’re employed, you have to do your best at all times. I’ve met plenty of people who didn’t respect their jobs and bosses. That’s not a good attitude.

The right attitude is to always make yourself useful and try to do your job the best you can. Whether you’re employed or work for yourself doesn’t really matter as long as you’re properly compensated.

Never retiring

I’ve also played around with the idea of never stopping with work. To be honest, I think that’s what I want more than retiring, period. I can’t see myself just going through life doing a bunch of fun stuff. I love doing fun stuff after a period of work.

But rest without work isn’t satisfying.

And over the last few months, I took a lot of rest. Granted, I got married and traveled a bunch. But there were a lot of periods where I was just knocking about.

But I also did some work because I just couldn’t stop completely. I love my work too much, plus I have this drive to make myself useful.

I don’t want to stop working and writing. Since the past week, I’ve committed to a handful of new projects, and I’m planning to relaunch my weekly newsletter again.

So expect new content from me every Monday.

The post What No One Tells You About Early Retirement appeared first on Darius Foroux.